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Hey sassy! Been there, done that! I had those same problems a little over a year ago so let me help a sista out. The first thing I would suggest is a hair vitamin specifically designed for our hair. I use Nouritress. Some people don't believe they work but i saw results with in 3 weeks with this vitamin. The vitamins help stregnthen your hair. Visit www.nouritress.com.
Second, throw away any daily moisturizers that contain mineral oil, petroleum or lanolin they just weigh your hair down and clog your pores. Invest in jojoba oil, olive oil and sweet almond oil. Use these for weekly to biweekly hot oil treatments and use luke warm water to rinse them out. If you have spots where the hair is weak or thinning use vitamin e on the scalp in that area. Once your hair is dry use these oils to moisturize your hair before you go to bed. Use a dab before styling for a pretty sheen. I use Pantene too but remember to switch your shampoo and conditioner every third wash becuse your hair can "get used" to the same brand all the time. Hair mayo is better than cholestrol to deep condition. Motions and Protectiv are also good brands to use. Wash once a week, sit under a dryer when u condition, air dry or hood dry your hair and only use a flat iron or curing iron no more than twice a week. I started 2003 with shoulder length hair and now Jan 2004 my hair is at the middle of my back. I used jojoba on my daughter's hair since she was 3 and her hair is longer than mine (she's 8 now). Let me know how this works for you. Good luck!